Getting into trouble with security guards is almost second nature to me. Whether it was being reprimanded during my awkward teenage years for getting into fights at the mall or being thrown out of hotels during my early years at work for trying to enter with greasy overalls, there was always a security guard present to make things difficult. No matter what I did or how carefully I did it, they were on me like flies on shit! So it wasn’t really much of a surprise when I had yet another run in with a security guard while trying to take a quick picture at a deserted beach on Palm Island a few weeks ago.
There I was minding my own business while trying to get a decent picture of the sunset when, out of nowhere, a security guard approached and proceeded to yell at me for having trespassed onto a private beach. I turned around to see a six foot tall hulk of a man, frothing at the mouth with rage, demanding that I remove my camera equipment and leave immediately. Remembering that I was about as charming as an acne ridden teenager with a lisp, I knew that sweet talking my way out of this situation was not the best idea. Lying seemed to be a much better option! Now it is common knowledge that in every Dubai based organization, there is atleast one high ranking official that is Emirati. So I decided to take my best shot and tell him that I had received prior approval from a ‘Mr. Mohammed’. I missed. As luck would have it, I had decided to choose the one organization in the whole of Dubai that did not employ a Mohammed.
As I packed up my gear that day, staring futilely at the setting sun, I should have been pissed off but instead I walked away with a grin on my face for having felt what it was like to be a kid again.
You should have said, “Did I say Mohammed? I meant Ahmed. Abdullah. Yousuf. No? Has anyone ever told you how photogenic you are, Mr. Security Guard sir?”
By the way, regardless of the circumstance, this pic just happens to be awwwweesome!